Estate Planning as a Career

We all know of a family whose siblings never recovered from the rift created during their parent’s estate settlement. Greed often is blamed, yet it is not always the cause.

When a death occurs, a seemingly endless number of details need attention in a very short period of time. These can include decisions surrounding burial or cremation, caskets, music, flowers, vaults and services. In addition, families must settle the deceased’s estate, often without any guidelines or expert help.

Consider this typical situation: A mother dies and everyone in the family is aggrieved — an emotional state known to induce poor judgment and rash decisions. No one knows what to do about funeral arrangements, and details about her estate — including the contents of her will, listing of assets, where safety deposit box keys or insurance policies are located, who the family representative is, etc. — are fuzzy.

In cases like this, the children often get together to decide which one would be the best to handle the deceased’s financial affairs. That person is deemed the family representative and must not only manage a myriad of details in unfamiliar legal waters, but also fend off potential squabbles among siblings.

Simple items belonging to the deceased become emotionally charged representations of the parent’s love. Money becomes a measure of caring and an interpretation of parental attitudes toward each child. “She always felt sorry for you, so you got the furniture.”

It’s no wonder families are torn apart so often during funeral and estate settlements. But, a little preplanning and discussion among family members can prevent needlessly high administrative and funeral expenses, unnecessary estate taxes, additional lost work time and the high cost of fighting and hurt feelings.

Preplanning arrangements allow financial and legal decisions to be made when logic rather than emotion is the controlling factor. Parents and their grown children must be willing to discuss issues such as: What funeral arrangements are important to everyone? What are the options if a surviving parent can’t live on his or her own? Are there mementos that are especially important to more than one family member?

These are difficult questions that can have serious financial and legal ramifications. It may be in your best interest to involve a neutral third party such as an attorney or a trust officer in your preplanning arrangements. Solutions to these and other problems aren’t difficult to achieve when people have an opportunity to explore the issues over time. Creative strategies can be designed to benefit both sets of generations.

Initiating a family discussion is the hardest part. Try sending a copy of this article to your siblings as a starting point. Then take the initiative to arrange a time to discuss the issues with your parents and siblings together as a family. Involve neutral third parties if necessary, and ensure that all your parents’ wishes are acknowledged and respected.

Meanwhile, if the subject is such a difficult one that you simply can’t break the family silence, you need to understand that it will be an even greater dilemma when a death occurs and family members are unable to handle estate matters appropriately. Consider appointing a corporate trustee to settle your estate. The investment in a trustee now could save your family financially — and emotionally — later.

In the long run, a little planning and forethought will save you time, money and the high emotional cost of silence.

Randall H. Fields

Randall Fields is nationally known speaker, an attorney, a financial advisor, and a registered representative of a large securities brokerage firm. He has extensive experience in contract negotiation, risk management and investment planning. Randall has served as chairman of two nonprofit organizations with assets in excess of a billion dollars, and currently serves as a director of several businesses and charities. He and Nancy, his wife for 35 years, have three children. Rebecca is a graduate student at Exeter College, University of Oxford, Travis is a senior at Texas A&M University, and Elizabeth is a sophomore at Blinn College. Randall and Nancy reside in San Antonio, Texas.

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At least redirecting mail in advance would be one thing off your mind.

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 3rd, 2008 at 9:41 am and is filed under , Estates, Wills, Trusts, Career Information, Blog Carnival. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.